|
HaloTheProtectorOfInnocent
|
read my profile
sign my guestbook
Name: Big C
Birthday: 9/1/1987
Gender: Male
Interests: Sword fighting, martial arts, complex medical analysis, seemingly unsolvable mysteries, and sleeping
Expertise: Anthropology, giving intermediate medical diagnoses, solving complex mysteries, armed and unarmed combat.
Occupation: full-time student/baby sitting
Industry: N/A
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
Yahoo:  xdemonbringerofchaos@yahoo.com
Member Since:
2/4/2007
|
|
| First off Merry Christmas I hope you all are having as good a christmas as I'm having. Let me start off by just going off on a small rant about how awesome it been. At 9 o' clock yesterday we had a roast duck for dinner, it was my first time having duck and I have to say I was pleasantly impressed by how good it tasted especially with a side of mashed potatoes and fried squash. After that me and the fam sat down and watched "Madia I can do bad all by myself" it was okay I didn't like all the unecessary singing though...then it was midnight oh my god oh my god oh my god yes! I got a ring (to replace the old one I lost), a watch (so that I finally don't have to check my cell phone everytime I want to know the time), a shaver (so I can finally take care of my facial hair the way it want to), a wii yes a wii, and best of all for me a reverse blade sword so that I can practice my swordmanship with a blade that has the weight and feel of a real sword without the...danger of using a real one. This has been a great christmas for everybody in my family and here's to hoping everybody had as good a christmas as mine *cheers*
| | |
| So I'm going through walmart earlier when I see a box of queen anne chocolates, I love queen anne chocolate. It has been like 2 years since I had a box so as you can imagine when I saw them I grabbed them without a second thought. There's just something about them perhaps it's the chocolate or maybe the cherry center but I just love them maybe in the richness now that I really think about it...So that aside this christmas is going to be awesome my family really took it seriously this year and got a tree, wrapped the presents and even put them under the tree. I honestly can't wait til christmas night. I haven't called any of my friends yet mostly because I got a copy of borderlands and haven't been able to stop playing it there's just something about that game that keeps on drawing me back once I tell myself I'm going to stop. Also I'm very behind on my writing and have been using the break to go back and revise everything I have I always didn't want to become that guy who keeps on rewriting everything and doesn't finish his work but everytime I go back and revise everything it just gets better and I can't help myself. I still want to hang out with my friends but I think it'll take one of them calling me and reminding me that they exist for me to stop writing or playing games. Other than that breaks been great, a lot less stressful and to top it all off I'm feeling a lot better now than I was before the break.
| | |
| Good to be back home after going through a nightmarish week of finals. I look forward to both see and talking to friends and once I get a good night of sleep I'll be making a few calls to get my hanging out with friends back on.
| | |
| I've lived for quite sometime long enough to where I at least can feel offended when somebody considers me a kid and during this time although I've lost a lot of friends (which is a big deal for me since I'm terrible at making them since I tend to have trouble talking with new people). But of more importance now its beginning to feel like I'm losing a lot of my important friends and its pretty painful. I suppose this has something to do with the last post as for the longest time I've just been searching for somebody I could just talk to at my level which is suprisingly hard. Whenever I think I've found somebody who can understand and talk with me at the same level I give them a few chances which nearly everybody ends up failing I mean my criterias for being my friend aren't hard be honest with me, keep in contact with me, don't use me like a tool, don't reveal any of my personal information to people I don't know or who will use it to hurt me and don't look down at me. It's ridiculous the number of people who can't do these five incredibly simple things and even when I overlook up to three of these criteria the number of people like this is still incredibly small. With the changes I've been going through I realise how important it is to have people I need to talk to especially people who will provide the proper atmoshpere for this new me but...it's really hard, everybody is just so...Well if anything of the things I miss most is those friends that even if it was you know 4 in the morning I could call them and they would answer without hesitation (given it was friday or saturday cause I'm at least that considerate) and they would entertain me with conversation listen to my problems and give me GOOD advice...I really miss those guys.
| | |
| No I'm not trying to quote a linkin park song though the title of the song is relevant to what I'm trying to do. Lately thanks to the guidance of one of my friends I've become increasingly aware of the fact of how much I've changed over the years. Back before I started high school this was me; quiet, constantly angry, a nervous wreck, and very ignorant of the world. After high school; slightly more enlightened, a little more sociable, happy, and rather innocent. College; quiet, easily angered, a nervous wreck, and fairly emmersed in the filth of this world. I'm rather dissapointed with myself when I was graduating from high school I promised I'd never drink, never do drugs, never curse, never involve myself in a self-destructive relationship and never become the things which I hated so much, yet here only a few years later and the only thing I have left is never done drugs. So I've made a decision first find out where I went wrong and second change myself back for the better. I'm already on the right road I've stopped cursing and watch what I say very carefully as not to be racist or sexist (which is actually harder than you think), I've stopped drinking completely, but most importantly of all broke up with my ex so that I would finally stop tearing myself apart and accept that we could never (because she moved to japan) be with each other; it's not a bad thing that we broke up though the nights are a little bit lonelier now however when I really go back and examine our relationship I realize just how much I was sacrificing and hurting myself just to be with her and how that just wasn't fair. I've noticed a steady change in myself since I started trying to change myself for the beter, for one I look a lot healthier, I mean I'm nearly three shades darker than normal simply because I did this, second my mind is becoming more stable and I'm able to think more calmly, and three... well I trust my friends on xanga but even I have somethings I won't talk about to you guys. I'm still a little worried, I'm not quite back to normal and I am still dare I say fragile but hopefully given time that will change and I'll be on that road to being the kind of person I liked being rather than the kind of person everybody wanted to and was forcing me to be.
| | |
|
